Reader note - some perfectly - acceptable comments have been inadvertently blocked

I'm off to day three of my mediation course (which is a very interesting, informative process, by the way), so no more blogging today until after six, but I just discovered that some commenters have been blocked by my assignment of one particular comment to the "spam" folder. I try to moderate this blog so that a civil tone is maintained - maintaining an interesting, engaged commenter community is important to me because, to my mind, the comment section is a vital part of this dumb project, and the comments are usually the best part of that. 

But I just realized that when I've consigned a particular comment to the spam folder, any future comments from the same IP address are automatically sent there as well, and I don't see them. That's not what I intended, and will in the future hit "delete" on the (very few) comments I take off, which should keep future comments unblocked. Again: it's my attempt to maintain decorum, not to shut down discussion or to turn the comment section into an echo chamber. I still miss, for instance, our Harvard law student who used to provide intelligent counter-arguments to my own,and others' take on political issues. He was never, eve blocked: instead, he went on to join a huge, oppressive NYC law firm, and found better things to do than argue with a nitwit like me, but he was a fun, and enriching addition.

But here's the deal: if you readers who find themselves blocked would just use the same screen name each time, I can recognize you, and, when I see a regular commenter who generally posts comments that add to the discussion, I'll almost always give an otherwise-objectional comment a pass. Or, if I think that a particular post exceeds my totally-undefined limits, I won't bar all future comments from the same ip address.

Worth watching all 12 minutes: John Kelly on Gold Star families and congresswomen who exploit them for political gain

General Kelly, who lost one son in Afghanistan and has another still in combat, describes what happens when a soldier is killed and his family must be notified. It's awesome, and heartbreaking. And, for those who, like that Congresswoman, scurrilously claim that General Kelly "will say anything to keep his job" (reflect, for just a moment, how horrible a statement that is), note the General's oblique reference to the attack on "a Gold Star family" at our national conventions last summer - that would be his boss. But he says it was he who passed on to Trump what had touched Kelly himself when notified of his own son's death: "He knew exactly what he was facing, and still he volunteered: he was doing exactly what he wanted to do, surrounded by the best: the 1%, when he died" (paraphrasing). 

Good tape. Kelly begins 1:02 minutes in.

UPDATE: From the New Yorker's perspective, Kelly's comments illustrate "the language of a military coup". God how I hate that magazine, and I've learned to despise its readers. I used to read it at my parents' home growing up, and bought my own subscription to it during my first year of college, before I grew tired of its blather. In those years, people like E.B. White graced its pages. Now it's a scurrilous, snob publication edited and sold to a small band of delusional "intellectuals" who despise the country they abide in. Screw 'em

New Yorker readers are too stupid to recognize when they're being ridiculed, and consider this poster to be an essential wall accessory for their multi-million-dollar co-ops. So much for higher education 

Time marches on, and Connecticut is left behind

bicyle touring hartford

Reader Sensei has, with his usual genius, dredged up a video from the early or perhaps mid-60s extolling the virtues of Connecticut as a place to relocate. Viewing all 20 + minutes, it's astonishing, and dispiriting to see how almost everything touted in the film has disappeared. Hartford, which back then was "the insurance capitol of the world" was already a deserted wasteland after 5 pm when I lived here in 1978-81, and now those companies are gone forever, and almost all the manufacturers and corporations featured in the promotional are long gone. The brass industry along the Housatanic? Silver in Woodbury? Eagle Pencils in Danbury? Fuller Brush and Stanley Tools in New Britain? Gone forever, either disappeared or moved out of state.

Wilton's Norden, Stamford's Cyanamid, Revlon. Dorr Oliver, Yale Lock, and so forth: all gone. Their replacements: UBS (which swallowed Greenwich Capital) and RBS, and Tudor Capital,  are going, fast, and I see nothing coming in to replace them. Check out the video for a depressing view of what once was.

Connecticut  is destined to return to being a tobacco leaf provider and vacation spot for New Yorkers and Boston weekenders. The good news for Greenwich homeowners is that, for so long as NYC remains a financial center, we can continue to offer a wonderful place for that industry's top earners to live in and raise a family. When New York succeeds in driving out its Golden Goose, which it seems determined to do, there will be no one able to afford to buy our houses at their current prices.

I may have to switch my focus on representing buyers to sellers who want to get out while the getting's good.

Tesla: $150,000 to spend 10 hours on 6-hour trip

relax and explore bummfuck delaware for a few hours!

Business Insider has a ridiculous article on a Tesla test drive from NJ to Maryland, 340 miles: mostly fluff, stuffed with useless pictures, but this stands out: even using the Tesla "supercharger" stations, the author and his family spent four hours recharging the wunderkar at three different stations. Eliminating one of those stops on the way back, they still spent an extra two hours. 

And that's with the "supercharger". A regular station, had they found one, would have seen them spending the night in a Motel 6. This is the car of your future, as dictated by your government. 

Of course, that author's estimate of a 6-hour driving time was based on a top speed of 55 MPH. The faster you drive an electric car, the faster the drainage, so don't drive at 70!

Unless it's fastened to a pogo stick, what's the problem with a hackable butt plug?

Soooweee!

Remote controlled butt plugs can be hacked, experts say.

Seems to me that the worst that could happen is that it would just wriggle on the floor, or in darker spaces.

Run away! Bloomberg points out that Connecticut has nothing to offer but dreary, failed cities and a huge debt owed to state employees

What sort of young striver wouldn't want to join the excitement in Hartford?

Article reprinted in Greenwich Time.

More than 30 percent of Connecticut’s budget goes to debt service, pension payments and [state employee] retiree health-care, all of which will linger for decades, Brennan said.

“It just makes it more difficult for businesses to have confidence in Connecticut," he said.

Yet, reviving Connecticut’s economy isn’t as simple as cutting taxes and rolling back regulations, economists said. Though it enjoys a highly educated population -- with the fourth-highest share of residents with bachelor’s degrees -- it lacks a thriving metropolitan center. 

Hartford, the capital and a center of the insurance industry, is on the brink of bankruptcy. Bridgeport, the most populous city, is still only about as big as Syracuse, New York. [And offers even less, if that's possible]. 

Not much happened in my absence, but there was a price cut up on Lower Cross Road

Little House on the (wooded) Prairie 

42 Lower Cross Road, specifically, which is now down to $4.250 million: it started off in 2015 at $6.995. The listing claims "gated Conyers Farm", but in fact it's beyond the pale, on the southern side of the street, and the "gate" is just a single one controlling, sort of, this individual driveway.

In the old days, that would have made  difference, but given Conyers Farms' dismal performance on the market in recent years, it probably no longer makes a difference. North, south, who cares?

And we're back from class

Learning are hard

Pretty exhausting day, probably because I haven't been in a classroom for quite a while. Four more days, if I make it that far. But in fact, it was a useful experience. I was struck half-way through the day that the Birch Lane McLaughlins might have been better served by asking Sam Bridge to join them in mediation. Here in deep-pocket Greenwich, residents tend to reach for their cellphone and speed dial their lawyer at the first hint of disturbance or displeasure, but mediation might have saved both parties tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and, most important, left the McLaughlins with control over their grievance. Mediation is voluntary, and the parties can either reach a satisfactory agreement or not, but they decide the outcome, not a third party, be it a P&Z appeals board, arbitrator, or judge. 

I've had very successful outcomes mediating cases, but most lawyers hate it (see above, re: saving tens of thousands in legal fees). My guess is that the parties in the nursery case could have crafted a settlement that satisfied both sides' concerns, rather than risk all on the decision of a panel of people with no stake in the outcome. 

In any event, back for more tomorrow.

No (daytime) posting today through Friday

No no no, you weren't listening!

I'm off for a five day(Wed-Fri, then Thur-Fri next week) mediation course. It's priced for people who want to become paid mediators, which sucks, because I'm doing it to volunteer for a mediation organization that provides free services to indigent clients who need help resolving everything from Landlord/tenant to commercial disputes to domestic cases, but what the heck, pay up with a smile.

But after all that money and time, I may find that I'm unsuited to be a mediator. The course material suggests that lawyers are the hardest to train, because we are by nature advocates, and many of us came into law because of a personal need to right injustices and protect others. That's not a mediator's job, and a rethinking is necessary.

So we'll see. But I'm a huge fan of mediation: my skill set/experience is mostly in negotiation, where, ultimately, it's just about money, but Pal Nancy and I engaged in a true mediation of our own lamentable divorce and lo, 20-something years later, we're best friends (or she's mine; her results may differ). If I can offer that opportunity to others, it sounds like something I'd enjoy doing.

And who knows? It might make me a better real estate salesman. In any event, I intend to deduct the program's cost as a business expense, and if the IRS doesn't like it we'll talk.

He got married and discovered true happiness, but by then, of course, it was too late

And another thing!

British man fled home and lived in the woods for a decade to escape his nagging wife

Malcolm Applegate, 62, of Birmingham, opened up about his new life — and his old one — in a blog entry posted on the Emmaus Greenwich website. Emmaus is a “homeless charity” that gives people a home “for as long as someone needs it and meaningful work in our social enterprise,” according to its website.

Applegate wrote he was a gardener for 25 years and enjoyed his job until he got married. He wrote the more hours he worked, the “angrier” his spouse became.

“She didn’t like me being out of the house for long periods of time. The controlling behavior started to get out of hand and she demanded that I cut my hours,” Applegate wrote.

After he tried to work it out with his wife, Applegate wrote he left without saying anything to anyone. For a decade.