Well, that's a relief!

Photo credit; Babylon Bee

Biden proves healthy cognition by flawlessly reciting all the sounds that animals can make

WILMINGTON, DE—With citizens and media figures questioning Joe Biden's mental fitness to become president, Biden took to the internet yesterday to shut down the naysayers once and for all. On a live video from his basement, Biden held up a Fisher-Price See 'n Say and flawlessly recited all the sounds animals can make. 

"My memory cognitives are per-perfect, they're perfect," Biden insisted. "If my brain is no anymore not work, could I do this?"

Biden then began to go through all the common farm animals and the sounds they make, starting with "cow," which says "moo." He got into a little trouble with the chicken, which he thought said "quack," but after some help from his live-in nurse, he got back on track.

After reciting all the animal sounds almost perfectly, Biden smiled smugly, dropped the mic, and cut the feed. 

After the video, CNN praised Biden's performance and reported an immediate 382% increase in Biden's poll numbers. 

NFL will now play what the NAACP calls "The Negro National Anthem" before games.

With just a dash of tranny

Followed by the audience and players kneeling for the old. racist American National Anthem. Between those two sing-alongs and the ritual burning of our flag, I presume the fans will also be treated to a rousing rendition of the Internationale, and in a bow to our indigenous friends in the casinos, something jaunty from the American Indian repertoire, like this Apache War song. My Apache’s a little rusty, but a rough translation goes like this:

Yes, we do eat sticks and dirt,

And yes we have no wheel,

But we are fierce, and dish out hurt

And force our slaves to heel,

And oh! Our women skin our captives alive.

(Or something like that.)

I predicted this when it first came on the market

Schools out, forever

18 Lower Cross Road has dropped its price from $8.9 million to $7.495. A year ago June, I suggested that between its price, dated design and interior decor, and an out-of-favor location, it was in for a rough time.

COVID may come to its rescue, but not in time to spare it this, and possibly several more price cuts.

Floor plans here.

Someone’s gonna take a bath on this one

Price cut on Clapboard Ridge

201 Clapboard Ridge — the Round Hill end of the street — has dropped from $8.250 million to $7.980. 10,000 sq.ft. on five acres, much of which is wetlands, the property it sits on had a difficult time selling back eight years ago, starting at $3.295 in October 2012 and finally selling for $1.525 in 2017. So far, the house that’s resulted has also been slow to find a buyer.

But I liked the land, and there was enough useable area to afford a decent yard so there’s plenty of room for the homeowner and his pet mosquitos to coexist.

Just as an aside, I wonder how long the black window farmhouse look will stay popular, and what will replace it? I’m guessing that all these houses are going to look dated a decade from now, but that’s not unusual: kitchens and baths installed in 2000 looked hopelessly old fashioned by 2010. So it goes.

Aspen in Riverside finds a buyer

11 Hidden Brook, ($2.850 currently, started at $3.495 February 2nd) has a contract. I liked the house, and Hi9dden Brook’s a good street; I suspect it was that original price that buyers found off-putting, not necessarily the design.

To rent, perchance to buy?

34 Beechcroft rented for three months last May 5 for $55,000 per month. That lease would have just expired and today the house, which had been asking $8.495 million, is under contract. Did the tenants decide to stay? I don’t know, though it’s certainly got an architectural style I imagine would appeal to hip New Yorkers, and the rent-to-buy transition was certainly the scenario a lot of us realtors were hoping for when the crazy short term rental craze hit.

Anti-disirregardless, it’s a big ticket.

At the suggestion of reader “Englishman in NY”, here’s a link to the Floor plans

God, I love this stuff

Actress Halle Berry gives up role after she commits the cardinal sin of referring to a woman who thinks she’s a man as “she”.

Nothing unusual, these days, about another story of leftist-autophagy, or even the demands that the role go to not only a real [sic] transgender but a colored one to boot, but Barry’s groveling apology is just great:

When sharing her decision [notice that no one “announces” anything anymore, but “shares” instead? So sweet — we’e all one incusive family now] to not take the part, Berry added on Twitter, “I am grateful for the guidance and critical conversation over the past few days and I will continue to listen, educate and learn from this mistake. I vow to be an ally in using my voice to promote better representation on-screen, both in front of and behind the camera.”

Just in time for election season — thank you!

Do you know who I am?

Democrats vow to shut down the government this September unless Uriah Milton Rose is evicted from D.C.

I have no idea who Mr. Rose was or what he did to raise the Democrats’ ire (I’ll guess that he played a role in the Confederacy) but that’s what makes this so great: no one else does either, probably, including citizens of Rose’s home state of Arkansas.

The Democrats see this as an opportunity to harass the Republicans, but if recent history is a guide, citizens get royally pissed off when Congress shuts down the government — just ask Newt — and take it out on the offending party. A fight over some statues of long-dead politicians like Edward Douglas White? Are you friggin’ kidding me?

This doesn’t seem like a hill to die on but please, go ahead.

Pending sales reported

Crescent Road

29 Crescent Road, Riverside, $3.595 million. Built in 2008 by (disclosure: my close friend) Lou Vanleeuwen, owner/principle of Greenwich Construction. Despite Lou’s apparent inability to come up with an original name for his company he builds solid, high-quality homes, so the buyer will do well here. While I’m saying nice things about Lou I’ll note that he’s also the local Generac dealer, Greenwich Power Systems (what’d I say about Lou and his original naming prowess) — you may want to know that before we enter hurricane season.

46 Parsonage

I don’t know whether it has a generator, but 46 Parsonage Road, asking $3.795, is also pending. It was on the market for a year, from February 2019 through February of this year, without success. It came back on May 28 with a new broker, in a new market, and the same price, and found a buyer in 39 days. It’s an okay house, in a good location, but it was built on a 76-foot-wide lot, which seems … skimpy.

Parsonage Road Lot

Hycliff Rd

And 14 Hycliff Road, off Riversville, is pending. Eight acres, including a spare building lot and priced at $3.999 million, it’s been on the market since June 2019.

Built and sold new for $5.8 million in 2005, it had a terrible time re-selling a few years ago, beginning at $7.4 and slowly dropping until this owner came along and bought it in 2018 for $3.8 million. He painted it a different color and put it back up for sale a year later at the aforesaid $3.999.

I’d suggested to a couple of clients that they toss an offer of $3.5 at this one, now vacated, just to test whether the seller was growing tired of owning the place, but they both demurred and now, it seems, he’s getting bailed out anyway.

Doubling Road Contract

68 Doubling, $4.275 million. A beautifully updated 1843 home on 1.6 acres; iit’s great that this house will continue to grace our town.

It took 405 days before a buyer showed up and in all that time the owners only dropped their price once, from $4.5 million. And good for them; they obviously put a lot of their time and money into this home, and if they could afford to wait for the right buyer to appear, more power to them. This buyer was fortunate that they did.