Yeah well, good luck to ya

 REPLETE with a "SPACIOUS mudroom" —  works for me.

REPLETE with a "SPACIOUS mudroom" —  works for me.

New spec house listed, 19 N. Porchuck Road, $5.675 million.  Regrettable architecture, bad land, a long way from town, in a neighborhood no one wants to live in. What's to like?

UPDATE: It's cruel, but when has that ever stopped me? Here's what some poor fool equipped with a crayon was tasked with writing about this place:

This home, beautifully designed by a noted Greenwich architect [Bronxville, actually, but close enough - ED] , has all the features one is seeking in today’s new home.  You have all of the aesthetics, as well as the technology of the 21st century for a laid back yet sophisticated lifestyle. Expertly executed by the renowned builders of Palkco Group [specializing in renovations, additions and insurance restorations, according to them - ED] , exquisite detail and craftsmanship can be found throughout this fabulous home. Beautifully proportioned rooms provide a wonderful flow for entertaining.  High ceilings and gorgeous windows let in the beautiful light and enable you to enjoy the amazing views of this private, three acre tranquil retreat.
There is a fabulous first floor front to back entryway framed by a living room and formal dining room.  There is an office or library/study, depending on one’s lifestyle. Gather your family and friends to cook up some fun in your amazing custom gourmet kitchen with top of the line appliances and ten foot center island.  Relax after a long day in your adjacent sun filled family room with a fireplace, and then head outside to the serene and peaceful back terrace area where you can enjoy another fireplace on those crisp autumn evenings.
The second floor has an elegant master suite with a fireplace, luxurious master bath, and walk-in his and her closets.  Enjoy beginning your day on your terrace, watching the sunrise with that first morning cup of coffee. An additional four bedrooms, each with access to their own bath, homework area, and laundry room complete this level.
The lower level is the ultimate in recreational space with a wine cellar, exercise room and home theater.  An additional bedroom and full bath are perfect for your guests.
Some of the many amenities include a three car garage, spacious mud room, state of the art technology and town approved pool site. This private retreat, bordered by Greenwich Land Trust, is conveniently located within minutes to downtown Greenwich, two minutes from the Round Hill Road exit on the Merritt Parkway. Five minutes off Route 684, ten minutes from Westchester County Airport, and approximately fifteen minutes from downtown White Plains, NY, Mt. Kisco, NY and Stamford, CT. Call the listing agent today for more information on this exciting opportunity!! $5,675,000