Not the Bee

Gov. noisome will personally toss violators off at the top

California finally allows Disneyland to reopen, but there must be absolute silence on the rides

After being shut down for a year, the omniscient and wise leaders of California are finally allowing theme parks in the state to re-open on April 1. You must not, however, participate in "singing, shouting, heavy breathing and raising one's voice" while on a ride.

"This rule applies when visitors are on the parks' rides, meaning guests are recommended to stay silent on roller coasters that usually encourage people to do anything but," said People. "In addition, face mask requirements and 'modifications to seat loading patterns' are being implemented by the parks to 'mitigate the effects of shouting.'"

Not the Bee’s Joel Abbot’s concluding remarks:

Yes, parks around the nation have been open since last summer, and yes, these same California leaders oversaw the nation's least-scientific COVID response and drove their economy into the ground, but don't question their judgment here!

Can you imagine how creepy it would be to visit a park where there are no sounds of laughter, thrill, or joy??

Morons and knaves.