Know Your Audience: Bud Light's marketing department teams with AARP to redesign Sports Illustrated

News that ex-con Martha Stewart, 83, will grace the cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit issue has excited paraphilia gerontophiliacs around the nation, but particularly among her age group in the country’s power center; so much so, that the magazine has announced a new summer series to be marketed to its base in Washington D.C., “Hotties of the Capitol”. Free Beacon’s investigative reporter Andrew Stiles has uncovered what’s coming up

Chuck Grassley, 88

To make certain that its swimsuit issue appeals to its entire readership, SI editors are teaming Martha with a transgender model. Will they also offer a free case of Bud Light with each magazine purchased? Stay tuned.