Give'em a slap on the wrist for snowblower theft and they're certain to continue their life of crime

Man allegedly was stealing and pleasuring himself at Bangor supermarket

An Orland man was allegedly caught stealing items and pleasuring himself at a Bangor supermarket over the weekend.

Thomas Taylor, 74, has been charged with indecent conduct and theft by unauthorized taking, according to Sgt. Jeremy Brock, a spokesperson for the Bangor Police Department.

Taylor was allegedly spotted “concealing items” at the supermarket, which Brock didn’t identify, about 1:32 p.m. Saturday.

While the supermarket’s loss prevention team kept watch on him over the store’s security cameras, they reportedly witnessed Taylor “in an act of self-pleasure” inside the store.

??!!! “Taylor was a vendor at the store and handing out drink samples, Brock said Tuesday morning.”

If he’s offering it, I don’t want it - eech.

UPDATE: As of this writing, Mr. Taylor’s Facebook page is still up; he may have to revise his resume, number of “friends”, and, perhaps even his marital status after this awkward moment in the news.

“Gee, Honey, I had a little trouble at work this morning but don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be kept quiet and no one will know.”

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