Sadly, there's not a single Hollywood celebrity among them

then you take ‘em, dummy!

then you take ‘em, dummy!

“Record number” (about 2,500) Americans seeking asylum in Canada.

Turns out, they’re Haitians, who came to the U.S. to have children. Our compassionate neighbor to the north doesn’t want them either, and is shipping them back to Haiti.

When can we expect Mr. Trudeau to retract his nasty tweets and join Trump for a chorus of Kumbaya in the Rose Garden?

And I already have clients developing cold feet because of Wall Street uncertainties. Thanks, Oshrat

My Bloomberg pal, Oshrat Carmiel, sends along this cheery news: Wells Fargo declares Greenwich a danger zone, raises mortgage downpayment to 25%.

Wells Fargo & Co. raised its required down payment for homebuyers in Connecticut’s Fairfield County to 25 percent from the standard 20 percent after it categorized the area as distressed.

The new standard, applying to loans above $601,450, would affect a healthy share of buyers in the county, where the median home price in some towns easily tops $1 million.

Wells Fargo, the biggest U.S. mortgage lender, has singled out Fairfield for the added cushion, which is effective for loans made after Sept. 15, mortgage and real estate brokers in the area say. The bank hasn’t changed the down-payment requirements for any other Connecticut county, nor any other county in the New York City metropolitan area, a spokesman for the lender confirmed.

The bank gives a numeric risk rating to each county where it issues mortgages, and Fairfield is rated Class 3, indicating distress, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. A Wells Fargo spokesman, Tom Goyda, confirmed the classification but declined to elaborate on it or to define what it means.

“While we can’t share specifically why we elected to change the market classification for Fairfield County, we review a wide range of local housing and economic indicators as part of our assessment process,” Goyda said in an email.

They seem to know the same thing many of us know, but they’re not afraid to admit it.

IN FAIRNESS, NOTE THIS:

The county’s homebuying market has fared well compared with other New York suburbs. While sales in the third quarter slipped 0.7 percent -- the third consecutive decline -- the median price of homes that changed hands climbed 3.7 percent to $425,000, according to a report by Douglas Elliman and appraiser Miller Samuel Inc. Contracts, a more timely measure of demand, jumped 28 percent. Sales in Greenwich, home to many Wall Street executives, surged 26 percent, the best summer for that market since 2012.

In neighboring Westchester County, single-family home sales declined for a fifth straight quarter, and prices there fell, too. Purchases in Manhattan, Brooklyn, northwest Queens and Long Island also decreased in the third quarter, according to the firms.

Here in town, as wildly-overpriced houses settle down to reality, we are seeing formerly nutso-priced homes move to contract for millions less than their owners once dreamed of, and the under-$2 million market has never seemed stronger. So there’s that.

I'm so old, I remember when people were charged with responsibility for their own actions

Greenwich forced to fork over $2 million to woman who slipped on ice.

GREENWICH — A Stamford woman who was injured after slipping on snow and ice in the Greenwich Town Hall parking lot will receive $2.15 million in damages after a years-long battle in civil court.

Angela Willauer suffered permanent injuries, including a concussion and memory loss, after the fall more than five years ago, according to documents filed by her attorney in Stamford Superior Court. Last month, a jury found that Willauer’s injuries were due to the dangerous parking lot and the town, which failed to exercise “reasonable care” to correct the conditions.

And so on. A person parks in a snow-filled lot, prances across it, slips, falls, and collects $2 million for her efforts. Court records indicate a whopping $6,500 in medical bills which, if I know my personal injury colleagues, were comprised largely of the billings from a friendly chiropractic. I won’t say “collusion”, though “cooperative” comes to mind.

Years ago I inadvertently committed malpractice by counseling disappointed would-be litigants who showed up in my office that damages alone weren’t enough; they would have to show that someone else was at fault before they could collect their windfall. Silly me.

To ask is to answer


“What we do know is this thing cost millions and millions of dollars. The mainstream media, and there are so many layers [of] onions to peel back, it’s hard to know where to begin. One of the lies the fake news if you will, media is trying to propagate is the fact that all this weird organic thing and all the water and the food and medicine, all dropped from … manna from heaven. It’s bologna. It’s all highly organized. It’s paid for by a number of organizations, we don’t know exactly where the money is coming from.”
“You know the answer to that. They don’t want to get to the bottom of this. They have no interest politically in getting to the bottom of it. The same reason why, when you see a photo in The New York Times or The Washington Post or a video on CNN or the BBC or MSNBC. What do you see? The entire framing are women and children when the reality is so far from the truth, 90-95 percent of all the people in this caravan are men. Although I do apologize for assuming their gender,” Horowitz responded.


Should we ask from where and how the money suddenly materialized to provide buses to transport a gay contingent to race ahead of their peers to the border? Why bother.

Pending just a few days ago, now sold

599 lake.jpg

599 Lake Avenue has closed at $2.625 million. Not so long ago, that price would have been pretty close to land value, but now it’s house and land. I discussed this property earlier this week before its final sale price had been reported, but Ill repeat that it’s been carried on our grand list at $5,619,200, and if this present value is typical of what’s happening over in the “Golden Triangle”, taxpayers throughout town should brace themselves.

Not precisely in accord with today’s taste, but the listing claims it was “custom built” ( a flexible term in realtorese) but it seemed well built, and if the design can be refigured to get the master bedroom moved upstairs, not a bad buy.

this will have to go, obviously

this will have to go, obviously

and perhaps nude rubenesque ladies or naked cherubs could be substituted for this las Vegas wallpaper

and perhaps nude rubenesque ladies or naked cherubs could be substituted for this las Vegas wallpaper

Looking good — for a buyer

21 knollwood.jpg

21 Knollwood reduced today to $2.499 million. Owners paid $3.9 for it in 2007, put some serious money into renovating it in 2012, and have had it on the market since 2017, when it started at $3.495.

North Street and Central Middle School district, nice house, great neighborhood — I’ve got clients who’ve been waiting for something like this in this price range, and I’m sure there are plenty of other buyers out there, too.

I’m also sure that, come the new year, we’ll be seeing similar bargains, but for now, this one looks like a good buy.

Well, we won't have Nixon to kick around anymore

We’ve had an awful lot of fun mocking 918 North Street since it first erupted on the market like an ugly pustule in 2009, priced at $16.9 million. We hooted, hollered, and jumped with glee as we watched this execrable house suffer the slings and arrows of market misfortune and as recently as last month suggested that some merciful soul send a bulldozer up there to raze the place and put the owner out of his misery.

But it turns out that, even as I wrote, salvation was on the way. The latest listing agent, Sally Maloney, who is the class act of Greenwich real estate (and one of my favorite people in the world) had prevailed upon her client to cut the price from $7.995 to $4.999 million that day, and lo, someone emerged from the weeds to snap up the bait. I suspect that someone may be Harvey Weinstein, given his tastes, and what appears to an increasingly likely chance for acquittal, but regardless, the place is reported as pending today and it will soon be someone else’s millstone.

And it shouldn’t be forgotten that America is the land of second chances. Nixon himself came roaring back from defeat to become President of the United States, and that turned out pretty well, until it didn’t. Cross your fingers and whisper a prayer for 918.

918 north.jpg

No, I'm not quite ready to order a bear-sized pepper spray, but I'm warming to the idea

Colorado State University bans “racist” phrase, “long time no see”.

These word police crazies are the same type of people likely to arrive at my, or your, doorstep, pounding and shrieking and demanding our self-denunciation for our thoughts. Unlike poor Mrs. Tucker Carlson, who, faced with such a mob, fled to the safety of a locked pantry, I’d prefer a more pro-active response, and assuming my .45 Long Colt would be considered a tad excessive for the occasion, this can of whoopee should serve (though for that gay Latino country club member who called Tucker’s 19-year-old daughter a whore and a cunt, a .45 or a horsewhip would serve even better).

Alternatively, it would make a great gag gift if used at one’s next faculty party.