Curb their enthusiasm

WOW! You go, Joe!

WOW! You go, Joe!

It occurs to me that we light-bearers have erred by emphasizing Slo Joe’s failing mental acuity and physical decline, because we may be encouraging the wrong people to get out and vote.

In senillis veritas, yes, but Joe’s promises to be a moderating force against the whackiest of the Children’s Army will only keep them home on Election Day if they think he’s in it for the long run. The more we convince them that Joe will be locked in the White House basement on his return from his inauguration, thus freeing Kampalla Malla to run the show, the more likely they’ll be to hustle to the polls to make that happen. If they think that they’ll just get four years of Joe, why bother?

So I’d like to see less reporting on Joe’s slurping Cream of Wheat after calling a lid on the day at 10;00 AM, and more pictures of him splitting wood.

Oh, the humanity!

“The Capitalists let just anyone buy bread, at any time, but make us wait to vote! This is so totally backward!”

“The Capitalists let just anyone buy bread, at any time, but make us wait to vote! This is so totally backward!”

"I was like, literally shaking when I learned these people were standing in line to vote and not get free bread from the government," said Representative Ocasio-Cortez. "In other countries, voting is easy. Sometimes the military even comes to your house and fills out your ballot with the correct socialist candidate for you! The fact that Americans have to sacrifice any amount of time to exercise their voting rights is just more evidence that we live under an evil fascist regime."

Bread lines, according to AOC, are a different matter. "Bread lines are compassionate and loving," she said. "They are the best way to make sure everyone gets the proper amount of government bread, cheese, and powdered milk. In Venezuela, they wait 32 hours for bread, but don't have to lift a finger to vote! It's, like, totally, totally, not fair."

AOC has proposed legislation to put voting officials in charge of bread distribution and replacing in-person voting with Twitter polls conducted by CNN. 

October 26 can now be celebrated for two momentous events

Does this tweet make me look stupid?

Does this tweet make me look stupid?

Yesterday, an incredibly accomplished woman who rose to the peak of her profession on her own, not by clinging to her husband’ coattails, was sworn-in as a Justice of the Supreme Court. .

Yesterday was also Hillary’s birthday. She spent it in an obscure, semi-rural town in upstate New York. My joy is unbounded, my cup runneth over.

Recyling towns equal Biden towns

See you next week, sucker — And don’t forget to vote!

See you next week, sucker — And don’t forget to vote!

Driving around small-town New England this election season I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon: in towns with mandatory recycling programs, and you can tell them by the blue bins on the sidewalks, Biden signs outnumber Trump’s by 10 to 1 (a very scientific survey, I assure you). The residents are also far more likely to wear facemasks, even when walking on otherwise-empty sidewalks and alone in their cars. We’ll leave the COVID panic to trained sociologists, but the recycling / Democrat voter phenomenon is explained, I think, by this simple conclusion: they believe in magic.

If the majority of town’s citizens willing tax themselves to pay for an expensive, futile program simply in order to feel tht they’re “doing something” about a percieved problem, they’re also likely to believe in the Democrats’ nostrums for other issues, from education to poverty to whole milk being allowed to be sold to childen. Add a false-sense of virtuousness to the mix, and you have a Biden neighborhood, with Black Lives Matter signs added in.

Residential recycling is a hoax, a fraud perpetrated by well-intentioned petty dictators who equate inconvenience and annoyance with doing good. Witness the ban on plastic straws, for instance, or, on a broader scale, recycling paper and plastics, all of which end up in landfills or incinerators because there’s no market for either.

This is well known, and has been known since the first Earth Day in 1970. The Atlantic admits it, even NPR acknowledges that recycling plastic is bogus (a fraud perpetrated by “Big Oil”, they say, but never mind, their conclusion is sound: plastics aren’t recycled or recyclable.)

Writing for the New York Times Sunday Magazine all the way back in 1996, John Tierney completely debunked the recycling movement: “Recycling is Garbage”, and his article still holds the record for generating the most angry letters to the editor, ever. Times readers don’t like to have their faith challenged or even questioned.

Yet knowing this, recycling programs persist, and are even growing (composting, anyone?) as costs soar and the truth about the fate of all this garbage leaks out. Some residents probably engage in this expensive, useless process because they’re compelled to but most, I suspect, do so out of a vague belief that they’re being virtuous. Not too virtuous, mind you: even back when cardboard had value as a recyclable material it was common to see take-out pizza boxes in the bins. One dirty article of cardboard contaminates the entire load, but most homeowners aren’t willing to sort clean cardboard from dirty, and assume that Mother Gia will know which are hers. These days it doesn’t matter, because even the most innocent of waste is headed for Hell or its modern equivelent, the incinerator.

So what’s the connection between engaging in a useless exercise like filling landfills by first washing, sorting and binning garbage before transfering it to the dump, and voting for Democrats? Both rely on magic, magic that tells low-information voters that anything is possible if they’ll only believe. Free health care, paid for by billionaires? Sure! A petroleum-free future, with iPhones, cars, even pharmaceuticals, all produced from hemp? That’ll be mellow, Bro. A steady, uninterrupted electrical supply that heats our homes, powers our factories and cars, all courtesy of the wind and stars? And that doesn’t require ugly transmission lines crossing the pristine Sierra Madres? Why not, if that’s what we want? Free college tuition that will pay for itself because all those new graduates with degrees in psychology and modern dance will earn far more than they’d have made as plumbers? Yeah, that’s cool, but don’t forget, no one’s gonna have to pay taxes on that extra income, ‘cause the billionaires will do it for us.

The list of risible, impossible things promised to and by Democrats is endless, as is the gullibility of their voters. Do you believe in magic? Of course you do.

So keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars, you dreamers you! (But don’t worry too much about that ground stuff — that was just Casey Kasem being a Debby Downer, man).

And of course, follow the science! Or not.

There's an answer to power-mad dictators, and the Bee supplies it

Thanksgiving a LA

Thanksgiving a LA

Banned from celebrating Thanksgiving, Californians plan BLM barbeques for November 26th.

Californians all announced they are complying with the plan and instead of celebrating Thanksgiving will be holding Black Lives Matter turkey barbecues scheduled, coincidentally, for November 26. The dinner protests will include turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casseroles, candied yams, and those delicious cheesy potatoes.

"We just want to show our support for BLM by cooking up a huge meal and gathering together with friends and family," said one family father in Temecula. "I can't think of any better way to protest alongside the BLM movement than contemplating the injustices they're trying to call attention to as we eat a giant meal and give thanks -- for, you know, Black Lives Matter or whatever."

If you’ve been lucky enough to miss the news of the Terminator’s Thanksgiving decree, The Federalist’s Elle Reynolds provides a digest here:

…. California’s Democrat governor has issued a new set of regulations that bans gatherings of more than three households. Additionally, no indoor gatherings are permitted, so don’t plan on eating around the dining room table unless you lug it out into your backyard.

Newsom’s ban on gatherings of more than three households means that a family with more than two grown children can only have two visit at the same time. According to the Pew Research Center, almost two-thirds of mothers in their young forties in 1976 had three or more children. If those mothers are grandmothers now and their children are grown, that means up to two-thirds of families would be banned from bringing all their children under one roof for the holidays.

Two out-of-three children, so certainly no cousins, aunts, or uncles.

Not only is California limiting the number of households that can come for Thanksgiving, the state also requires hosts to write down the names of all attendees for contact tracing. For families who want to celebrate the holidays with both sets of in-laws, “participating in multiple gatherings with different households or groups is strongly discouraged.”

In addition to limiting how much of your family can gather, California is mandating that all gatherings happen outside. That means families can’t congregate in the kitchen to cook together, serve food in the kitchen, or sit around the dining room table. Family members can leave your backyard and enter your house to use the restroom, but only if the restroom is “frequently sanitized.”

Families who have a backyard can gather there; families who live in condos or apartments will have to look elsewhere.

Even outside, the regulations also mandate at least six feet of distance between members of different households at all times, including when family members are sitting. So good luck passing the Thanksgiving turkey down the table, much less having a conversation with the people seated around you.

Speaking of Thanksgiving turkey, Newsom’s regulations require that “as much as possible, any food or beverages at outdoor gatherings must be in single-serve disposable containers.” And no serving your own plate — if food can’t be served in single portions, then someone wearing a face covering must be there to dole out servings.

And more, and more: masks to be worn at all times except when actually dining, no singing, and all gatherings limited to two-hours or less. and if this isn’t enough, Newsom has authorized local health authorities to enact their own, stricter rules.

And we're warning you, if you don't buy it within the week, we're gonna raise it again!

khakum.jpg

23 Khakum Wood Road, which has been on the market since Noah first logged it (well, since May 2015, anyway, but that’s not counting its disappointing non-performance in 2007-2009), has failed to sell, so today the owners raised the price by $525,000, from $8.470 million to $8.995.

“This new number has better Feng shui”, listing agent Holy Gocluess told FWIW. The expert we brought in to consult told us so. She said $8.470 was the wrong number to harmonize with the Ludowici tile, so we really had no choice but to go up. Of course,” she giggled, “we could have gone all the way back to the $16.5 we originally asked for in 2015, but our Feng Shui master said that’d be stupid; I don’t know why”, Holly sighed, “but we all have to trust the science

The Miracle Worker?

10 lighthouse.jpg

Brother Gideon has brought 10 Lighthouse Lane, Old Greenwich, back to the market at $8.499 million. This essentially-land offering failed to sell when it asked $9.950 in 2005, and failed again in 2012 at $8.499. The latter was a Tamar price and ordinarily I discount those by 25%-50%, but it’s been eight years, there’s been no waterfront added to our inventory, and Kung Flu still stalks the land, so who knows? Certainly Gideon has worked his magic many time before.

An opportunity to keep your enemies closer

An opportunity to keep your enemies closer