It wouldn't matter that the AP is a worthless cesspool of propaganda except that its feed constitutes the bulk of "news reporting" in the country (UPDATED)

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2018: Then-Senator airhead vows to fight deportation of illegALS

She was the Border Czar, she wasn’t the Border Czar, now “she was the Border Czar, but in a joyful subtle way”.

The AP is the enemy of the people, by the way

In grappling with migration, Harris proceeded cautiously. She focused her time and prestige on boosting private investment in El Salvador, Honduras and Guatemala, the so-called Northern Triangle; her goal was to help create jobs to bolster economies and dissuade migrants from making the perilous journey to the United States.

It was a decidedly long-term — and limited — approach to a humanitarian crisis, and it has allowed Republicans to tie her to the broader fight over the border. While migration from the Northern Triangle ebbed, it surged from other nations, sparking an emergency at the U.S.-Mexico border, one that Republicans have aggressively sought to exploit at Harris' expense.

Harris Rigby, Not the Bee: “The best part of this story, which gives Kamala all the credit for her brave and genius border plan, is that they admit about 20 paragraphs in, at the very bottom of the story, that any "success" from Kamala's plan is actually because El Salvador elected Nayib Bukele.”

While the Harris campaign and White House have pointed to statistics that show migration from Northern Triangle countries has dropped substantially since early 2021, there is debate over what is responsible for that drop ...

Independent analysts, however, said they were skeptical that Harris' approach was responsible for the dip. They said the decrease was likely driven by regional factors, including the ascension of El Salvador's new president and his aggressive drive to combat violent crime. His government reported a 70% drop in homicides in 2023.

UPDATE: of course, there’s also the AP’s bookend, an essential item on every liberal’s bookshelf, NPR

Trump team scores a truly dastardly campaign triumph, convinces the Democrats to go full-Kamala

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In addition to the mobile clinic, another group, Americans for Contraception, plans to erect an 18-foot-tall inflatable intrauterine device, or IUD, named “Freeda Womb,” The Times reported.

Other activists are planning a “Hotties for Harris” party, in addition to a number of other events.

Even Texas Governor Greg Abbott is helping out, chartering buses in selected blue states and offering free rides to the Windy City.

Dem lawmakers given security warning before 100,000 pro-Hamas demonstrators descend on Chicago for DNC

UPDATE: I try to come up with satirical headlines, but, like the editors of The Bee, I can’t go far enough out to keep up with the actual news: Governor Abbott is actually busing up 1,000 or so illegal aliens to join the DNC festival.

With no further need to prop up him up, the once-respected (by some) NY Times "discovers" that the First Son is a crook. Next year: Biden sold his office.

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Mr. Biden's highly questionable foreign dealings have for years appeared more smoke than fire; there was previously no evidence that he illicitly lobbied any American officials. Compared to figures such as the former Trump campaign chief Paul Manafort, who was caught out as an illegal foreign lobbyist (among plenty of other crimes), Mr. Biden's alleged foreign lobbying misdeeds appeared to fall short of crossing the line into criminality. They may have put a lie to President Biden's claimed concerns about foreign influence campaigns, but they were never worthy of formal charges. With the new details, though, that has changed, giving prosecutors the opening to pursue the president's son as one of the most prominent foreign lobbyists the United States has ever seen.

Here’s a sampling of articles from “Not the Bee” — sister publication to the Babylon Bee, but withe straight news stories. Every one of these reports was ignored by the MSN, or declared fales; all have been borne out as true.

Apple to white males, Asians: drop dead

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“Reader Up North” has sent along this post from Apple:

(There seem to be some pretty butch, even bearded trannies there at cupertino, no?)

Apple Entrepreneur Camp supports underrepresented founders and developers, and encourages the pipeline and longevity of these entrepreneurs in technology. Attendees benefit from one-on-one code-level guidance, receive unprecedented access to Apple engineers and experts, and become part of the extended global network of Apple Entrepreneur Camp alumni.

Applications are now open for female,* Black, Hispanic/Latinx, and Indigenous founders and developers. And this year we’re thrilled to bring back our in-person programming at Apple in Cupertino. For those who can’t attend in person, we’re still offering our full program online. We welcome established entrepreneurs with app-driven businesses to learn more about eligibility requirements and apply today.

Apply by September 3, 2024.

Learn more

* Apple believes that gender expression is a fundamental right. We welcome all women to apply to this program.

Related: I was going to volunteer, but I worried that someone at her headquarters would want to touch my Hu/hu

Kampallawalla Ding Dong’s volunteer application form:

When they say what they're going to do, believe them. and, when they insist that that's NOT what they intend, then don't.

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No man's life, liberty, or cattle are safe while the legislature is in session

Cutting emissions could cause food production to fall by a QUARTER as experts admit there is a 'strong trade-off'

  •  Experts have said lowering greenhouse gasses will result in less food supplies

  •  This could be offset however by reducing food waste and eating less meat

Food production could fall by 25 per cent in England under the most ambitious plans to reduce carbon emissions, a Government study has concluded.

Experts at conservation body Natural England who looked at nine scenarios to change land use found that it was not possible to deliver a strong reduction in greenhouse gas emissions without reducing the food supply.

Their report said: 'At the UK scale, there is a strong trade-off between emissions reduction and food production.'

It added: 'Under the most ambitious climate change mitigation scenario, food production is expected to decline by up to 25 per cent. 

'A decline in food production is unavoidable under these mitigation scenarios.'

But, and here it comes …

According to the report, losses in food supply could be offset with changes such as reducing food waste and eating less meat.

Meanwhile, lowering meat consumption would reduce the need for using farmland to grow animal feed crop; plants for human consumption could be grown instead.

Why should the Secret Service be run any better than any of our other government agencies or departments?

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Kevin Downey Jr. PJ Media:

KDJ Clown World Report: Secret Service Agent Reportedly Steps Away From Trump Rally to Breastfeed

Susan Crabtree of RealClear Politics tweeted some news we would have not believed in earlier times, but it doesn't surprise me at all today. A Secret Service agent allegedly ditched her post at a recent Trump rally in North Carolina to breastfeed her kid. Three sources have backed up Crabtree's story.

FACT-O-RAMA! I had no idea the Secret Service has a "bring your kids to work day." Kidding, they aren't allowed to do that.

The shocking/not shocking story alleges that the leading Secret Service agent at the rally did a last-minute check of Trump's walking route from his motorcade to the stage roughly five minutes before the former/future president arrived and discovered the agent, hungry baby, and two other family members in a room set aside for potential Secret Service emergencies (such as the president getting shot because a Secret Service agent suddenly realized it was wet-nurse o'clock).

Crabtree reports that the agent didn't bother to alert anyone before she pulled what might be the world's first "dash 'n dine." 

FORMULA-O-RAMA! Enfamil offers a convenient store locator to help people find places to buy baby chow.

Apparently, "Agent Lactate" had an "unpinned" staffer sneak two relatives and the infant into the rally without going through security checkpoints ("unpinned" means that the person was not cleared by the Secret Service to be at this location).

As we saw last month, the Secret Service is once again covering its own bahookie.

"All employees of the U.S. Secret Service are held to the highest standards," Secret Service spokesman Anthony Guglielmi stated. "While there was no impact to the North Carolina event, the specifics of this incident are being examined. Given this is a personnel matter, we are not in a position to comment further."

As of this writing, the unnamed agent is still employed by the government agency that is supposed to protect various elected leaders, including the guy who took a bullet in Pennsylvania just over a month ago.

I was going to append this to a previous post, but heck, it deserves a place of its own UPDATE: How can anyone keep up with this woman?

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And she’s still at it today.