He thought he was Arnold Palmer?

 Well it worked when I tried it  last  week

Well it worked when I tried it last week

Pastor who (tried to) walk on water to show parishioners how Jesus did it is eaten by crocodiles. "Only his sandals and underwear were left", witness reports.

A Zimbabwean church pastor attempting to demonstrate how Jesus walked on water by crossing a river on foot was eaten alive when he was attacked by three crocodiles. 
Jonathan Mthethwa of the Saint of the Last Days church brought his congregation to the area known locally as Crocodile River before attempting his biblical recreation. 
According to witnesses, the pastor entered the water and waded out approximately 30 metres before attempting to make his way to the surface. Unfortunately for the pastor, three crocodiles pounced and devoured him. 
'We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week. They finished him in a couple of minutes.
'All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.'

"Last Days Church" indeed. Somehow, this tragedy brings to mind that biblical parable: 

Moses and Jesus are playing golf. At the tee of a par 3, with a lake right in the middle of the fairway, Moses selects a 5 iron, tees-up his ball and swings. The ball sails high and lands in the middle of the lake. He mutters to himself and tees-up a second ball, this time selecting a 4 iron. This shot is perfect; landing right in the middle of the green. 

Jesus pauses for a moment to ponder his club selection. "Hmmmm..... Arnold Palmer would use this," and he picks up a 5 iron. 

"But, Jesus, Jesus: my 5 iron shot ended up in the lake. You should use a 4 iron!" 

"Nope. Arnie would use a 5", says Jesus. 

He swings hard, but his shot ends up in the middle of the lake too. As he strolls over to the lake and walks out to retrieve his ball, a foursome comes up to the tee and sees a man walking on the water, "What the hell," one of the golfers exclaims, "who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?" 

"No," explains Moses, "He is Jesus Christ. He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."