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 Must I do  everything  myself? Where’s my damn valet got to?

Must I do everything myself? Where’s my damn valet got to?

Prince Charles has a servant iron his shoelaces each morning

“The Prince of Wales, 69, has reportedly earned a special nickname among the staff at Clarence House: The Pampered Prince. That’s because, according to Amazon Prime’s new documentary “Serving the Royals: Inside the Firm,” Charles needs help doing just about everything.

“His pajamas are pressed every morning, his shoelaces are pressed flat with an iron, the bath plug has to be in a certain position and the water temperature has to be just tepid,” Princess Diana’s former butler, Paul Burrell, revealed in the documentary, per Yahoo.

Burrell even said that Charles “has his valets squeeze one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every morning.”

The butler’s duties reportedly extend to fetching items just a few feet away from the prince. “On one occasion, he rang me from his library and he said, ‘Oh Paul, a letter from the Queen seems to have fallen into my wastepaper bin. Would you pick it out?'” Burrell claimed.

… [He - or, undoubtedly one of his flunkies] brings his own toilet seat with him when he travels, changes outfits five times a day, only recently discovered what Saran wrap is and never shows up to a dinner party without his own food.”

Aren’t you glad we won our revolution? For decades, this pompous twit, scheduled to be the next king of England, has hectored the rest of the world on the need to lower our standard of living and return to the pre-industrial age, all so we can save the earth from global warming, and ensure that his pheasant hunts aren’t disturbed. Perhaps the guillotine is a tad excessive, but a return to the English tradition of ridding the country of pestilent kings — Edward II comes to mind — by locking the fool in The Tower and thrusting a red-hot iron bar up his rectum might meet with great approval by his subjects.