Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels.
"We want to make sure drivers are informed," said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. "So we are having them get lectured by a 16-year-old so they will have all the facts before they do something rash like put gasoline in their cars to go to work."
Once the driver has listened to Thunberg's entire lecture, they will be prompted to complete a quick, fifteen-question quiz to show they understand how horrible they are for driving a car. Drivers who get at least 80% will then be allowed to refuel their vehicles. As they refuel, the screen will simply play a clip of Thunberg saying, "How dare you!" over and over again.
Fortunately, there’s this: The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.
This isn’t as crazy as it may sound, because there will be a lot of Tesla owners hanging around fuel stations while they wait for their own 45-minute charge-up, and they can supply a ready source of enforcement agents while entertaining themselves hectoring their less enlightened fellows. Win, win.