More on that new Jeopardy champion

From our nation’s paper of Record

CULVER CITY, CA—Trans woman Amy Schneider broke a winnings record on Jeopardy last week, earning more than any female contestant in the show's history. Experts say this proves once and for all that men really are smarter than women.

"As a biological male, Schneider is once again proving the vast superiority of the male intellect," said MIT researcher Dr. Yamblo Figlenstrogg. "For better or for worse, this will be a huge boost for sexists and transphobes everywhere!"

Audience members were reportedly in awe to find that Schneider's dress and pretty hair did not negatively affect the functioning of her brilliant male brain.