What would we do without corporations with a social conscience?

I saw this tag on a shirt I’d purchased at Walmart’s the other day (yes, I buy my ascots there too), and at first I was delighted to see that I’d helped support “Better Cotton’s mission” — whatever that mission is, I’m sure it’s a noble one, and I simply glowed with pleasure, knowing that I’d helped save the whales, or ended global warming or protected poor Pakistani cotton pickers from harmful pesticides, or … whatever.

But then I read the cautionary disclaimer at the bottom of the tag, and I’m not certain I’m as proud of myself as I was. I may have to sail to Gaza with Greta to break the Israeli’s food blockade before I can regain that sense of noble accomplishment.

Translation: “we have no idea what’s in here, but we (say) we have good intentions, and that ought to satisfy all but the most rabid of you nuts.”