Who among us doesn't love a good train wreck?

harry and Randy andy’s excellent journey to oblivion

The doings of the most dysfunctional family in the world rank right up there with news of Hollywood celebrities’ shifting sexuality and dating arrangements in terms of personal relevancy or interest, but the Harry and Meghan saga is just too much fun to ignore completely. The latest: Harry is suing his granny to force her to provide his voluntarily-exiled family police protection “whilst in England.”

Prince Harry faced outrage yesterday over his threat of legal action against Her Majesty’s Government in an extraordinary security row.

The Duke of Sussex is seeking a judicial review of Home Secretary Priti Patel’s decision to strip him of his UK police protection team, claiming it is too dangerous to visit the UK without Scotland Yard bodyguards.

Last night there was anger at the unprecedented legal threat against his grandmother’s government as security sources hit back saying: ‘Scotland Yard is not available for hire’. 

As exclusively revealed by The Mail on Sunday, lawyers acting for Harry, who stepped down from royal duties two years ago, have written a ‘pre-action protocol’ letter to the Home Office, threatening to go to the High Court if his family are not provided with security while they are in Britain, which they have offered to pay for.

The ultimatum is the culmination of nearly two years of discussions with ministers about his security arrangements, the Daily Mail can reveal. 

Legal representatives say the duke wants to fund the security himself, rather than ask taxpayers to foot the bill.

But experts pointed out that Scotland Yard does not have a pool of specially trained officers sitting idle, adding: ‘You can’t just hire the services of Scotland Yard as and when you feel like it.’

[O]ne royal insider, with more than a hint of exasperation, said: ‘Once again, when it comes to the Sussexes, it has to be pointed out that you can’t have it both ways. 

'They have chosen to leave the institution – and the country – and live their lives as private individuals.

‘They can’t just pick and choose which bits they think should apply to them.’ Another source said the offer to pay for the use of officers while they were here was ‘immaterial, as I am sure they know’.

Poor Harry — he just can’t grasp the notion that he’s just another mortal now; Just as, say, Mike Lindell has no claim to royal prerogatives, neither does this schmo: “You are as nothing to us”.

And what makes this so much fun is that he seems genuinely bewildered by the consequences of what he’s done. I’ve never read of any great intellectual prowess in the House of Windsor, but when it comes to the Royal Spawn’s IQs, Harry must truly be the runt of the litter.

Harry have great pain between ears