Ore-a-Gone (Updated)

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look, but don’t touch

Oregon Petition to Ban Hunting and Fishing Reaches Threshold to Be Added to Ballot

More specifically, the law would prohibit animal farming, ranching, hunting, fishing, trapping, pest control, and research/teaching. Restaurants would, for now, be allowed to stay open, but any fish or meat served would have to be imported from outside the state.

As of February, this petition had already collected 117,173 signatures, and I’m sure it’s climbed since.

Insane? Well, that’s what I thought when our masters announced an intention to shut down the entire world for their proof-of-concept COVID codswallop, but they did it anyway. In comparison, this is just a blip on the road to destruction.

SALEM, Ore. (KATU) — Supporters of an effort to criminalize the killing of animals for food in Oregon are one step closer in getting a measure on the November ballot.

Initiative Petition 28 would make it illegal to injure or kill animals and would effectively ban hunting, fishing and the breeding of animals.

PREVIOUS COVERAGE FOR MORE DETAILS: Controversial petition aims to ban hunting, fishing and pest control in Oregon

Supporters have been collecting signatures for this since 2024 and this past week, they reached the number necessary to make it onto the November ballot.

But it’s not official yet. The Secretary of State’s Office still needs to verify the signatures.

UPDATE:

The Bee employs satire for this post about Texas — it’d be straight reporting in Oregon

Democrats Hopeful Average Texas Voter Wants To Ban Steak And Thinks God Is Gay

For decades, the Democratic Party has dreamed of turning Texas blue, and believe that their message of making beef illegal and calling God non-binary will finally be the ticket to make it happen.

"We like our chances," said Democratic strategist Kelly Sharp. "We're really optimistic that the typical Texan will resonate with outlawing steak, going vegan, and believing in a six-gender deity. If we know anything about Texas, it's that they don't like brisket and think God is a homosexual. Republicans aren't going to know what hit them."

Democrats are planning to pour tens of millions of dollars into the Senate race in order to blanket Texas with anti-steak advertising. "This is the year the tide turns in Texas," said party operative Mackenzie Damon. "We are confident that our message of God's gayness is going to turn out the Texan vote like never before. The Democratic Party is ready to win here."

At publishing time, the Republican Party had encouraged the Democrats to spend as much money as possible supporting James Talarico.