It's not the heat, it's the stupidity. And the lies.

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Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?

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(okay, so the quakers don’t employ priests — sue me)

58, and the lots at 34-38 Quaker Lane are back on the market, again, after years of fruitless marketing and two failed “international” auctions. Once flogged at $35 million, the house and 16 acres can now be yours for, it says here, a mere $19.5 million; I might try a lower number, because they must growing exhausted by now.

I’ve posted on this property numerous times, such as:

A modest price cut at Andrew Kissel’s old place on Quaker Lane.

And:

Sixteen acres too much for your landscaper to keep tidy now that gas leaf blowers have been banned?

Perhaps because they grew tired of being the butt of so many jokes, the owners finally gave up trying to sell it conventionally, or thought they had, and last August they submitted it to auction:

$35M Greenwich estate once owned by murdered developer heads to Hong Kong auction

And with seemingly good results; not in achieved price, but at least they were shed of it:

Greenwich land once owned by murdered developer sold for $13.1M at Hong Kong auction

GREENWICH — A Backcountry estate once owned by a murdered real estate developer sold at auction for $13.1 million, according to a press release.

The properties, at 38-48 and 58 Quaker Lane, were put up by Sotheby's Concierge Auctions in Hong Kong last month. All told, the Hong Kong auction garnered $242.7 million in aggregate bids, including property sales in Hawaii, Colorado, Texas and more.

Sotheby’s dubbed the Greenwich properties “Quaker Lane Farm,” which span 16 acres with three distinct residences and a total of 11 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms. Marketing materials also call the properties an “equestrian paradise” with world-class equestrian amenities like a 12-horse stable and a laser-leveled dressage arena.

These three parcels were collectively listed for $35 million last year before they went to the auction block. Bidding closed on Oct. 10 and the sale was pending as of Oct. 11, according to Sotheby's.

Danielle Claroni, Christian Perry and Leslie McElwreath of Sotheby’s International Realty Greenwich Brokerage were the listing agents.

McElwreath previously told Greenwich Time that taking a Greenwich property to auction is uncommon, but they hoped it would give the sale more exposure.

“It was a pleasure to work with Sotheby’s Concierge Auctions in our shared goal of selling Quaker Lane Farm,” McElwreath said in a statement. “We’re proud to have [temporarily] concluded the sale of such a unique offering and to help prove that auction can be a successful method of selling in our community.” [oops!]

Alas, the auctioneering victory was not to be, and the following distressing news hit our shores in November:

Greenwich Backcountry estate heads to London auction after $13M Hong Kong sale falls through

November 1, 2024: GREENWICH — The $13.1 million sale of a sprawling equestrian estate in the Backcountry has fallen through, according to a Sotheby's public relations representative.

The buyer defaulted on the purchase which is “a rare occurrence,” the representative wrote in an email.

Rare occurrence or not, the property’s still with us, London proving no more receptive to Fairfield County land than was Hong Kong, and so here we are again. The current ask is $19.5 million, but would the sellers really reject the same offer of $13.1 million that they accepted last fall? Try it and see.

Good: they were always just ineffective, expensive theater, and once they were allowed to leave their white gloves at headquarters, it was lousy theater at that

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tough love (I don’t know who that third leg belonged to, but we’ll go with it)

GREENWICH — The debate about putting traffic-directing police officers back on Greenwich Avenue may have ended before it even started.

Proponents of a petition asking that Greenwich police redeploy officers to the Avenue have withdrawn it from the Representative Town Meeting's March 10 agenda, so the item will not be discussed.

Beth MacGillivray, an RTM member who is involved with the petition, said she did not know if the proponents would introduce the item at another RTM meeting later in the year.

Police chief James Heavey was ready to debate the department's current configuration and he did so in an open letter sent out on Feb. 28 … [laying out] Heavey's reasoning, primarily that bike-mounted officers and plainclothes members of the Organized Retail Criminal Activity Team are doing a better job of policing downtown these days because they are not bound to an intersection.

"I sincerely believe that the use of foot and bike-mounted patrols, alongside our ORCA team, provides the best service to the Greenwich community, and that the return of police officers directing traffic on Greenwich Ave. would be a detriment to these efforts," he wrote. "The most visible enforcement isn't necessarily the most effective enforcement."

The ORCA team has recovered more than $261,000 in asset forfeiture and more than $110,000 in merchandise, Heavey said. Additionally, ORCA investigations resulted in 130 arrests last year for 363 felonies, 391 misdemeanors and dozens of other infractions.

"ORCA has prevented countless crimes, assisted agencies in solving similar crimes in other communities, and is now a model for other police agencies nationwide," he wrote.

Earlier this year, when the petition to return the cops to the Avenue popped up online, First Selectman Fred Camillo said, "it's never going to happen." He also likened the stationary police officers to expensive, living stop signs.

….

When Heavey joined the department in 1986, there were 175 police officers, but the department had 152 officers as of July 1 last year. Heavey said the department has shrunk about 10% during his tenure, but the town's population has grown about 5%.

Despite a shrinking force, Heavey said there is the same number of officers working the Avenue as there was before, when officers were on traffic duty.

I'm all for political donnybrooks — the British are past masters at it, and their parliamentary hearings are much, much more entertaining. (Updated — The Serbs show how to do this right)

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White House brushes off Dem disruption plans at Trump's speech to congress: 'Behaving like children'

The White House brushed off reports that far-left Democrats in Congress are discussing plans to go further than ever to protest and even disrupt President Donald Trump's speech to Congress on Tuesday.

Some Democratic lawmakers are advocating for major disruptions at the event, ranging from outright walkouts to using noisemakers to drown out Trump's speech, Axios reported Tuesday. Some of the more moderate ideas floated reportedly include carrying egg cartons to highlight costs, carrying protest signs, and coordinating outfits.

White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt told Fox News Digital that Trump is prepared for whatever the Democrats might throw at him.

And I’m sure he can. Besides, why should the Brits have all the fun?

Thought he'd done this years ago, but it turns out that, up to now, he’d been just visiting

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The Bee’s on top of it

HELL — Infernal sources have just confirmed that Satan has decided to join the communion of the Episcopal Church.

According to Hell's spokesdemon, Satan had been attending ELCA and United Methodist churches for the past few years before deciding that the Episcopal Church was right for him.

"The Devil just lines up theologically with everything the Episcopalians are preaching," said Junior Devil Shmerklwitz, who serves as Satan's media liaison. "He wasn't really convinced for many years, but one fire-and-brimstone sermon from a gay transwoman bishop on how circumcision was an Old Testament picture of gender transitioning young babies really changed his mind on the denomination. He's their biggest supporter now."

According to local Bishop Glayle Jaemeson (they/them), Satan has been an excellent addition to the Episcopalian fold.

"It's a joy to celebrate the good news every week with this guy," Jaemeson said. "And we love the Sriracha doughnuts he brings for our coffee hour afterward. Top notch fellow — wish more of my parishioners were like him."