If you hurry and close on this (stretch) stocking stuffer before December 25th, Gideon will have the money to buy me a proper Christmas present

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I don’t know, but I suspect that Hooligan & Lawyer’s David Huffinpuffer was playing with his new Chatbox AI when he wrote the following rather flowery description of the property:

Elegant Shingle-style New England masterpiece, truly built as a ''forever house''. Property includes strip of land to LI Sound. Construction of the highest quality, down to the smallest detail. Massive front door opens to grand entrance hall and superb transverse hallway to all principal rooms and family areas. 11-foot ceilings throughout three levels. Waterviews east and south, luxurious primary suite w/two private decks, 5 more bedrooms, each ensuite bath is unique. Huge walk-out lower-level can be finished in numerous interesting ways. Super energy-efficient, carefully designed for low-maintenance, it will be your forever house. Lower-level square footage 3,600. Second garage: 900 sq.ft.

(Upon reflection, I see no mention of that obligatory Chatbox feature, the “chef’s kitchen”, so maybe David assigned the task to the firm’s photographer, who, thus distracted, hasn’t had time to post any interior shots.)

UPDATE: So I tried my own hand at Chatbox, asking it to provide a real estate description for the property, being sure to note the “drunken, litigious neighbors who really aren’t all that bad when sober”. The computer was a bit more gentle than that, but it certainly captured the spirit of the place.

Situated in a neighborhood known for its spirited personalities, it’s important to note the engaging dynamic of the community. The adjacent neighbors are spirited and occasionally embroiled in lively discussions, yet underneath their passionate exchanges lies a genuine camaraderie that emerges when the sun sets on their disputes. They are individuals of strong opinions and spirited debates, though surprisingly sweet and amiable when not amidst any disagreements.

Beyond the boundaries of this charming abode, residents can indulge in the delights of Riverside living. Explore the quaint boutiques, savor culinary delights at local eateries, or relish in the natural beauty of nearby parks and waterfronts.

In summary, 30 Willowmere Avenue offers more than just a beautiful home; it presents an opportunity to be part of a vibrant and spirited community, where even the most quarrelsome neighbors reveal a heartwarming sweetness when the day winds down. Discover the charm and allure of Riverside living in this remarkable residence.